IT IS MAY 30TH AND I AM DISGUSTING

[Currently listening to Metronomy's Nights Out album.]

Hello, passerby. I am alive. I still read. I still write. I just don't write about what I read here anymore. This is not to be the reality any longer. 

Final exams are rearing their ugly heads pretty soon (June 11th!) but graduation's blossoms are opening and filling the air with the heady smell of freedom from the formative years of the American education system (June 19th!). 

BUT, I REITERATE, IT IS MAY 30TH AND I AM DISGUSTING. 

I don't know if it's a personal defect (It definitely is) but I tend not to be amazing with consistency when I'm not super satisfied with something. (Also, I procrastinate. I'm procrastinating right now, actually.) I think I have to learn that not everything is perfect, is meant to be perfect, can be perfect. If you don't keep working on it, you're not looking for better things, you're preventing them from being able to come to fruition. 

Anyway, self-berating session is done and over with. I've just finished from looking at other people's blogs (namely Style Rookie, Not Haute, and Theesparklecorner) and I'm motivated to keep working on mine and I'm crossing my fingers, toes and space fingers and space toes that this endeavor works out.

Do I have books to review today? Nah.

Books I've been reading:

1. 1984 - G. Orwell

2. The Picture of Dorian Gray - O. Wilde (I keep getting surprised every time I realize he's Irish...)

3. Candide - Voltaire (I know it sounds dry, but I think it's ridiculous, so I like it)

4. Brave New World - A. Huxley (finished!!!)

Books on Standby until I read my school's required reading lol:

1. Butterfly Mosque - G. Willow Wilson (I've had this for AGESSSS! Tell me why I haven't advanced, oh my goodness.......)

2. A Room of One's Own - V. Woolf

3. Favorite Poems - W. Wordsworth

4. The Oxford Book of Twentieth Century English Verse - Chosen by P. Larkin

5. The Poetry of Black America - Edited by A. Adoff (Can you tell I'm getting into poetry?)

6. The Bluest Eye - T. Morrison (I just read an blog post about a man teaching his 9th graders about internalized and institutional racism using this book and Kendrick Lamar's To Pimp A Butterfly)

7. Very Simple Arabic Script - J. Peters (I've been wanting to learn for the longest time! I learn languages better when I am familiar with their script. Might be a thing of life, might be a thing of mine.)

*I don't know what this blog is going to evolve into, but I also need to stop concerning myself so heavily with it. It's a blog, not the moral sensibilities of my first born child...

**A lot of the books listed are library books so I have to hurry it up and read lmao

***I'll review what I actually end up finishing. I'm issuing a challenge to myself - READ OR DIE. OR maybe just: read or feel a vague sense of disappointment. 

****Bye.

my computer's language input keyboard thing isn't working and it's so upsetting

I've got to be real, I need a new computer. This ol' lady of mine is a real gem but it keeps not working. I could cry.

ANYWAY, I'm currently reading The Butterfly Mosque by G. Willow Wilson (also the author of Ms. Marvel - Kamala Khan, I KNOW RIGHT). I'm hoping to finish my homework today so that I can spend tomorrow reading.

Until then,

Iman (I wish I could use emojis ;-;)

CRAZY STUFF, except not really

Can I make a TBR post? Are there guidelines to this sort of thing? Whatever, let's go for it.

I have these periods where I get super into Youtube. This lasts for a few days at a time and what usually happens is that I drop my homework and other responsibilities and instead while away watching Youtube videos. Whether they be vlogs or tutorials or comedy videos or babies speaking foreign languages - it's all fair game.

I've created Youtube channels at various stages of my life.

1. - Grammar school // I used it to upload AMVs. I got a few thousand views so I was happy.

2. - High School Underclassman // I uploaded so many intro videos. What was I introducing? Who knows. By this I mean that I uploaded intro videos and kept deleting them. I didn't know if I wanted to vlog or talk about something specific, I just wanted to film videos.

3. - Last year // I created a Booktube channel and uploaded a few videos that I either privated or deleted. I didn't keep up with it so I figured a blog was easier. (That's how this beauty of a blog right here came to exist!)

4. - Now // I revamped my booktube and WAM BAM I'm actually going to upload! Contrary to what I've labeled it, I'm not only going to upload videos about books. I'm going to try my hand at many things and hopefully things work out. I'm going to see how well my editing skills can improve and I am also going to see how I'm going to coordinate talking about books there and here.

This is the link to my channel - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCY6vhb6oXxcGabnb0_AKQXA

As for what is the first book that I'm planning to review --- The Butterfly Mosque by G. Willow Wilson.

Thank you for reading + Have a Lovely Day!
-Iman

Talk about a Hiatus

The last time I posted to this blog, I hadn't experienced Cameroon, I hadn't been accepted to college and I actually had time for recreational reading.

A lot has happened since then.

But now! At the grandest present moment! As the ever merry Christmas break approaches and the hearts of schoolchildren lift with joy as each of their successive schools commence their winter vacation, my brows grow clear of wrinkles and my agenda leaves less ink plots on my palm.

Basically, the worst of senior year has come and gone. I have been accepted to Washington and Lee University through the Questbridge program. I am well into my second semester of senior year. Midterms are approaching but are not yet upon me. I'm feeling relatively chill because - guess who has things relatively under control? Me!

So all of that was to say that I think I'm going to have time to read for fun. That means that I'm going to actually be able to post to this blog! I don't think anyone actually reads it, but how can I expect anyone to read it if I don't post anything to it, ya know?

Anyway, -----

I want to format this blog so that updates are at least somewhat regular whether they be book reviews or film reviews or music recommendations - whatever! I just want to get something done.

Until the next,

Iman

Brag Sheet

The Whitest Boy Alive split. :(
(http://www.itsallindie.com/2014/06/the-whitest-boy-alive-announce-their.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+ItsAllIndie+%28It%27s+All+Indie%29)

Why is that something you should care about, especially if you're not particularly into The Whitest Boy Alive? Do you even know who they are? I didn't know either until maybe about a year or two ago. The article that I linked to tells me that they've been a band for around 10 years and they released the two albums, Rules and Dreams. I discovered them via Rhapsody, I think.

My favorite songs by them are "Burning", "1517", "Don't Give Up", "Intentions", "Fireworks", and "Done With You". I'm not the best music describer, but I can tell you that all the music I've ever heard them play was super duper mellow and the singing was always soft spoken. It seemed so gentle but the instruments used weren't of the pixie dream variety. They used regular instruments like your standard drums and guitar. I think that's one of the elements that attracted me to their music, they weren't overly indie. Is that a thing? Do you feel me? (This is not to say that I don't like and appreciate the overly-indie, but sometimes there is value in moderation).

Anyway, back to the title!

One of my guidance counselors sent a mass e-mail informing Juniors about Brag Sheets. They are documents that are supposed to display your accomplishments, abilities, and aspirations. Personally, I think they serve more as Cheat Sheets, so that guidance counselors can write recommendations for you even when they don't really know you.

I've just looked at it and I realize that I haven't won many awards. It makes me sad but then again, not that sad. I can't really go back into the past and enter more contests so I'll just settle for what I've done so far. I wanted to try and enter more during Senior year (and maybe during the summer I'll spend being a rising Senior :). But nonetheless, I think I'm alright.

I kind of wish that I could write things like: Once pulled an all-nighter reading fanfiction - shows dedication. Or, has a really impeccable music taste - should be granted the opportunity to make a playlist for the POTUS. I feel like it would more accurately represent who I am, my aspirations/abilities/accomplishments better than submitting my course load and my Chinese poetry recitation award.

Chinese poetry? wow much cool

Should I ask questions even though I don't think people actually read this blog? Uh, if you're yet to attend college, what colleges would you like to apply to/have applied to?

For the Greater Good?

Superheroes are known for saving the world. The world is generally understood as being the greater good when compared to smaller loves, such as a city or a family. In fact, oftentimes, a comic book superhero's conflict would be choosing between that which is personal to him and that which is his duty.

Should he save his girlfriend or his city?

When in time-sensitive, pressured situations, most people will gravitate towards what they care most about and generally, this is the personal option.

In the case of the American legal system, the lesser of two evils is often chosen. The court can be and has been manipulated to pay special attention to certain facets of a case and turn a blinder eye at other facets. There is usually a set agenda and the agenda generally favors the will of the majority, what is widely viewed as 'the greater good'. (http://law2.umkc.edu/faculty/projects/ftrials/scottsboro/scottsb.htm)

There are many cases that go against that agenda and go on to form landmark cases that set precedent. Perhaps the most famous example is Brown v Board of Ed (1954). At that time, the American majority were middle class white families. This is slowly becoming less the case but is still very much the reality.

These families placed their children in segregated schools because of widespread beliefs of minority inferiority, of how their children might be poisoned in some unfeasible manner by the black children. Most people nowadays know this is not true, and all American public schools are integrated by law.

The will of the majority -segregation- was the greater good for 1954 white America.

There are many minorities fighting to realize their goals, fighting to determine the universal greater good.

There is no one guiding humanity, instructing us what to do with our lives and clearly defining the greater good. We as a species do not have a specified leader that can dictate to us what we are striving for, what is best for us.

I think we've got to settle for fumbling around, living our lives. We can each set our own greater good, and spend our lives trying to make that happen. Majorities of opinion do turn up and for stretches of time, it seems like a greater good as been decided upon (Hitler? MacArthur? Cat's Cradle?). Eventually, movements fizzle out and it becomes all too apparent that there is no set rule.

Life is dynamic, go try to find your own greater good.

Hyperbolic Belly Butterflies || Entitlement in a Bow

Yesterday I read an article from the Prospect (http://www.theprospect.net/!) that detailed the daily schedule of a high school student. It went something like this - school, internet, homework, sleep, repeat cycle, weekend, breathe.

I deviated from that path and after coming home from school and messing around on the internet for a bit, I went to sleep. It was only 7PM so I woke up at 3AM and started working on my homework. Most of it wasn't that pressing so I decided to devote all of my precious time and attention towards my math homework.

I'm not regretting that decision or anything, I have a quiz later on today regarding hyperbolas and lemme tell you I'm shaking in my boots. Never mind the fact that I'm barefoot, I'm so incredibly nervous.

It's the practical application part of the lesson that's killing me. Never in my entire life will I ever voluntarily feel inclined to measure distance using hyperbolas but that's what I'm being made to do. The logic behind it is doing me under. I keep reaching for some type of safety, some variation of a life float, but either it doesn't exist or we repel each other.

It's killing me. I'm dying.

On another hand, I was on Facebook a little while earlier and someone posted an article written by a sorority member about how she wasn't entitled (http://totalsororitymove.com/im-an-upper-middle-class-white-girl-but-im-not-entitled/). I want to feel for her but I'm a little conflicted. Everybody that commented on the article on facebook was cringing and did not support her views at all.

In the article, the girl (she doesn't reveal her name) states that because girls like her do well academically, because they, "work [their] asses off to achieve those accomplishments" that means that they aren't entitled. Because they have jobs and work hard and earn money to pay for their Starbucks coffee and designer bags, they aren't entitled. They joined a sorority because they are aware of the struggles that others are born with and they want to make their community a better place.

Entitled generally means to feel as if you have a right to wealth, to success, to your possessions. Generally, those who believe that hard work is necessary for success aren't entitled. Ordinarily I would be on her side; she worked hard for her everyday luxuries and it wouldn't be correct to say that she believes she deserves them.

BUT... :(

At the end of the article she mentions that she is "just like you–only in a hair bow."

No, dear author, you're not. I am not a rich white girl. My parents don't have the means to have me join a sorority. I live in an apartment in the inner city. I'm not saying that I'm not privileged, I definitely enjoy luxuries that many other inner city kids don't have. My parents are very much of the belief that education is one of the greatest assets a person living in this global society can have. My mother believes that its important for children to experience luxuries so that when they grow older they can realize that money, cars, and fancy hotels aren't anything to sell your soul over.They work hard to provide me and my siblings with the supplies necessary to succeed (such as the laptop that I'm typing this with) as well as every-once-in-a-while pleasantries like trips to the movies, or a new video game.

My family is not in a stellar financial situation, I cannot buy Starbucks every day let alone every week. I know not to take money, food, and luxuries for granted. I also understand that hard work bears results but I also understand that sometimes the world doesn't comply.

Sometimes, no matter how hard you work, the harvest reaped is dismal. When you understand this, I think that's the point that you can justifiably be called 'entitled'.

Yes, the sorority rich white girl author works hard for her things. Yes, she is moderately independent (who's paying for her tuition? her dorm/apartment? her sorority membership?) but does she know that some people work just as hard and sometimes even harder and have not as much to show for it?

She mainly talked about herself and her current situation. She talked about how she earned what she has now. She acknowledged that not everyone has the same opportunities as her. I just want to know if she knows that she is lucky. She's not only lucky to have those opportunities but also be able to bear fruit from them.

Does she think that she deserves what she has because she worked hard? I'm definitely not saying she doesn't, but I need her to really appreciate what she's got going for her there. It's not just her hard at work. It's the combined effect of her skin, her hair, her family, her wealth, her schooling.

Her sense of entitlement probably is attune to her sense of human rights.

Everyone should be joining her in feeling that particular sense of entitlement but unfortunately, some just aren't as privileged.

Can a sorority change the judicial system, change economic inequality, change sub-par educational institutes?

So yeah, I think she's entitled.